Beartooth's Caleb Shomo Opens Up on Coming Out + Religious Upbringing

Beartooth frontman Caleb Shomo is now speaking out about his religious upbringing, the inherited perceptions about being gay that came with it and the barriers it caused on his path to coming out last month.

The singer was a guest on the Disrespectfully podcast with hosts Katie Maloney and Dayna Kathan where he took a deep dive into his identity struggle from early childhood through the present day.

Throughout the podcast, Shomo unpacked his religious upbringing and how being gay was viewed as a "sickness" while growing up. He also touched on peer pressure he faced as a child, revealing his true self on Beartooth's upcoming album Pure Ecstasy and coping mechanisms he turned to while struggling to know and understand his sexuality.

Caleb Shomo Discusses His Religious Upbringing

Within the chat, the Beartooth frontman spoke about being raised in a deeply religious family as the "son of a preacher who is the son of a preacher" and his mother, a nurse who came from a religious family. His parents fell in love while attending a Christian college and Shomo made it clear up front that he loves his parents and felt they were doing the best they could, but that the teachings of Christianity conflicted with what he was going through and instilled some negative perceptions of being gay as a result.

"Essentially, with Christianity, you devote your life to Jesus and then in the more Southern side of Christianity where I come from, it's more serving people. And to me, well I have no self worth, no self love, no reason for being here other than serving other people and loving other people and following the playbook. So that's a tough place to start, especially being gay," he shared.

The singer say he was taught to think of being gay as "a sickness that you can cure with prayer," adding, "And then probably even more damaging than that upbringing was being involved in a music scene in that really wild Christian era of the mid-late 2000s that I came up in, adjacent to, like, Underoath and stuff, that at the time was very Christian and very evangelical and intense and I was involved in this music scene where I was 14 when I got into the scene, hanging out with a lot of older people who are very evangelical devout Christians and I was a Christian myself."

Within the discussion, he recalled an incident when he was just 16 in which he joined with a group of people that were "trying to pray the gay out of one of our crew members." "I'm just there going, 'Okay, this is it. This is true.' And it was so fucking traumatizing. It was terrifying," he recalled.

The singer also recalls being raised in such a manner that he never really had any platonic relationships with women. His religious upbringing dictated no sex before marriage or you will go to Hell.

"People are courting each other very young without much understanding of themselves and you just follow the model. And I never really had any relationships with women, at all. So that was also very confusing. I was trying my best and just trying to follow the path and yeah, there's just so much I didn't understand about myself," said the singer.

Caleb Shomo on Peer Pressure + Embracing His Feminine Side

On the Disrespectfully podcast, Shomo also looked back toward one specific memory where peer pressure clashed with his own personal choice of expression.

"My first core memory of what I recognize is that was when I was probably six or seven and my mom and my older brother ... we were at some department store and there were these cheap rings and we though they were really cool. And my mom was like, 'Okay, you guys can get one.' And he picked a guy's ring and I picked a girl's ring. And he's like, 'You know that's a girl's ring.' And I was like, 'Oh, I don't know. I just love it,' recalled the singer.

"It was half silver, half gold and had a diamond in the middle. I just loved it and I loved the way it made me feel. And I wore it all day and then I remember the next day on the bus just getting ridiculed by the kids ... I just freaked out and didn't know what was going on and threw it out the window." It was like, 'Fuck, don't do that. Whatever that is, let's keep that away,'" he concluded.

"To me, what that was, was this very strong feminine side that I have, but it's just not the vibe in Ohio in the Christian world. And then growing up, the older you get and then hanging out with a lot of older people and just conversations constantly reminding you how fucking weird it is to be gay if you do anything remotely gay or feminine. So that feeling that I had, which I now understand was my sexuality, I just viewed and compartmentalized as just self-hatred. It's this thing that's evil in me and okay, you fight this with all of your might. And that's the right thing to do. You fucking pray about it," he shared.

How Did Caleb Shomo Cope With Fighting His Sexuality?

Within the discussion, the singer painfully unwrapped the manner in which he tried to suppress his sexuality. He detailed having suicidal thoughts as a way of pushing back against the idea anytime he would have thoughts that led him to question his sexual identity and revealed a growing dependence on alcohol as a coping mechanism in his 20s.

If you or someone you know is having suicidal thoughts, visit the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline website. Resource information is provided for free as well as a chat message service. To speak directly to a professional, call 1-800-273-8255. You are not alone and help is available. Every life is important.

Help for drug and/or alcohol dependence, is available through the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website. To speak to someone on the phone, dial 1-800-622-HELP (1-800-622-4357) or send a text message to 1-800-487-4889.

Now, Shomo is looking forward to the release of Beartooth's Pure Ecstasy, an album in which he finds his current self. And, to get there, he was encouraged by producer Jordan Fish who urged him to open up in the lyrics, rather than ducking behind vague terms.

Listen to the full episode of the Disrespectfully podcast below.

Beartooth's Caleb Shomo Guests on Disrespectfully With Katie Maloney + Dayna Kathan

What Caleb Shomo Previously Said About Coming Out as a Gay Man

Back in late May, Shomo publicly came out as a gay man. The singer addressed the matter in a statement.

"I am a proudly gay man," he declared. "This is something I've been unpacking and reckoning with in my life for quite some time now. It's been difficult to navigate the feelings surrounding the subject and figure out what to do with this fact.

"When it comes to my art / Beartooth, I have always strived to chase who I am in the deepest part of my soul from album to album. As you could gather if you've followed the band at all in the earlier years, there are 4 very self deprecating albums about exploring my religious upbringing, depression, self hatred, self loathing and hopelessness. I am grateful for all these albums, yet feel embarrassed at times that I wouldn't allow myself to really dig up the roots for so long."

Shome said coming out cleared "a direct path to me reconciling with my sexuality in hopes that it will eventually lead to me experiencing self love" and "I am trying to finally be proud of who I am and I think this is a massive part of that journey."

"To those who have shown me love, empowerment through living life freely and openly in my presence, supporting the queer community, or simply telling me you love me whoever I am, I am forever in your debt and I hope you know what you mean to me," he concluded. "I encourage anyone who's struggling with who they are to give yourself grace. Give yourself patience. Be honest with yourself. Do the hard work instead of burying it down as deep as you physically can thinking it will change like I did. Holding these things in only hurt you and those around you. Love you all, and hopefully this is a step in the right direction to loving myself one day."

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