5 Ways to Uplift Your Lonely Heart This Valentine's Day

I gave the delivery driver a sad smile and shook my head. 

“Send them back,” I said flatly, as I shut my front door as politely as I could. 

I drew in a deep breath, put my cell phone on silent, and returned to my friends Ben and Jerry, who waited quietly on the coffee table in front of my couch. I dug out a cherry from the melting pint of ice cream and flipped through the endless options on the TV, quickly skipping by the Hallmark channel and any other reminder that my love life was anything but bliss on this cold Valentine’s Day. 

I felt my phone vibrating near my leg and rolled my eyes. It was on silent mode, but I should’ve just turned it off. I knew it would be mere moments before my husband would plead his case. But I didn’t want flowers. I wanted faithfulness. I didn’t need apologies. I needed accountability. But we both knew that cost substantially more than the red roses I’d just denied. 

Being lonely on Valentine’s Day can feel painful. Being lonely while married on Valentine’s Day can feel punishing. And that’s exactly how I felt. The emotional distance caused by my husband’s betrayal cut deep, and no gift could gloss over the gaping hole the wound left behind. 

Maybe you find yourself in a similar state of mind this Valentine’s Day. You’re fighting loneliness while everyone around you seems to be celebrating love. Yay them. 

Loneliness Is a Real Part of the Human Story

Throughout Scripture, we find that even faithful, God-fearing people felt the sting of loneliness. Take a brief scroll through the Psalms, and you’ll hear the aching echo of David’s cries to the Lord: “Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted” (Psalm 25:16). After Elijah had been faithful to God’s command, he found himself running for his life, with no one to comfort him. “I alone am left,” he reasoned (I Kings 19:10). Even Jesus pleaded with God not to abandon him as he hung on the cross, panting the iconic question, 

“My God, my God, why have You forsaken Me?” - Matthew 27:46

None of these three had done anything wrong to warrant their loneliness. It was just a necessary part of their journey. How might your heart be encouraged if you realized that loneliness might be part of the necessary ingredients for your journey, too? 

ALSO SEE: Bids for Connection & Attention Plus The Cure for Loneliness in Relationships

Embracing this understanding sets the foundation for you to accept the things you cannot change and gives you the strength to see how loneliness can work in your favor.

Photo Credit:©Unsplash/Alex Ivashenko