Arthur Wellesley, the first Duke of Wellington, has gone down in history not only as a capable politician and exceptional military leader but also as a coveted lover and notorious womanizer.There is no question about it. Wellington possessed everything needed to attract the many wealthy women in his social circle. Good looks, quick wit, easy charm, impressive wealth, shocking intelligence, and great power were all on his side. If he was attractive as a young man, he only became more so as he aged. His victory at the Battle of Waterloo only enhanced his appearance and becoming one of the heroes of Europe certainly did his love life no harm.Wellington the Womanizer?The Duke of Wellington and Harriet Arbuthnot, 1834. Source: Heritage AliveWomen of all ages, classes, and occupations fell victim to the allure of the hero Wellington; it seems that he was almost impossible to resist. Upon returning from each battle, Wellington was accosted by practically every girl who crossed his path. Of Wellington, Countess Granville remarked, the fact is that I really believe that the Duke finds so few women that do not kneel to him, that he must feel a sort of respect [for any who do not].As a result of his many talents, Wellington also acquired more than his fair share of mistresses. His name became romantically attached to those of many women. The Italian opera singer Giuseppina Grassini, the French actress Marguerite Georges, the Duke of Portlands daughter Charlotte Greville, and professional Courtesan Harriette Wilson are just a few of the lucky ladies rumored to have shared his bed.The Cambridge Dictionary describes the term Womaniser as a man who often has temporary sexual relationships with women. To demonstrate, it provides an example of its usage: he was a womaniser who never let his marriages get in the way of a good time. Many flattering alternatives are offered: Casanova, seducer, philanderer, lothario, lady-killer.The Duke of Wellington wearing his Field Marshals uniform, by Thomas Lawrence, 1815-16. Source: English HeritageObviously, these descriptions are not exactly complimentary to any man. However, some historians may argue that they would be fitting when it comes to the Duke of Wellington. Did he really have an unhealthy fixation with ladies in general, or was he simply seeking comfort and relief from an unhappy marriage?In this article, we will rediscover Wellington as a man rather than as a politician or general. We will view the private persona rather than the public figure. Let us delve into the romantic relationships of Arthur Wellesley, review his marriage and affairs, and reveal a little of what went on behind the closed doors of his bed chamber.What Do We Need to Know About the Duke of Wellington?The Duke of Wellington, by Francisco Goya, 1812-14. Source: The Goya FoundationBefore we find out more about his marriages, friendships, and romantic liaisons, we must first attempt to understand the Duke of Wellington himself. So, what are the most important facts about his life?Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington, was a British soldier, military leader, and statesman who lived between May 1, 1769 and September 14, 1852. Throughout his life, he saw the reign of four Monarchs: King George III (1760-1820), King George IV (1820-1830), King William IV (1830-1837), and most significantly of all, Queen Victoria (1837-1901).The Duke of Wellington is now largely remembered for three reasons.Firstly, he is famous for his rivalry with Napoleon Bonaparte, and his success in leading the British army to victory at the Battle of Waterloo in 1815. He had a vast amount of experience in the ways of warfare. It is known that, throughout his career, he participated in over 60 battles.Secondly, he is famous for being the prime minister of Britain on two separate occasions. He led the country from 1828 until 1830, and then once again for a very brief spell in 1834. His most memorable achievement as prime minister was passing the Roman Catholic Emancipation Act of 1829.Finally, he is remembered for his unhappy marriage to Catherine Pakenham, and for his many affairs with the prettiest, cleverest, and most sought-after ladies of the English aristocracy.So acclaimed is the Duke of Wellington that the Encyclopaedia Britannica describes him as the conqueror of the worlds conqueror. Queen Victoria also had high praise for Wellington. She went as far as to call him the pride and bon genie of England, and the greatest man the country ever produced, and the most devoted and loyal subject.Arthur Wellesley: Early Life and WomenAnne Wellesley, by Thomas Hodgetts, 1839. Source: National Library of WalesLet us venture back to the very beginning of Arthur Wellesleys life.The exact location of Arthur Wellesleys birth is unknown. However, thanks to small snippets of evidence taken from contemporary newspapers, it is assumed that the event took place on May 1, 1769, in Dublin. It is likely that he entered the world in the warmth and comfort of Mornington House on Merrion Street.It was on his second day of life, when he was possibly no more than a few hours old, that Arthur Wellesley was baptized in Saint Peters Church on the nearby Aungier Street. Still, Arthurs place of birth has been the subject of much dispute amongst historians. In 1873, Sir J.D Burke wrote that nowadays, the theory that he was born in Dublin is generally accepted but by no means proved.One thing we do know for certain about Arthur Wellesley is his parentage. His father was Garret Wesley, the first Earl of Mornington, and his mother was his wife, Anne Wellesley. Anne Wellesley came from a fairly prestigious family in Ireland and was the eldest daughter of the banker and politician Arthur Hill.Arthur Wellesley grew up alongside his many brothers and sisters. His elder brothers were Richard (1760-1842) and William (1763-1845). His younger brothers were Gerald Valerian (1770-1840) and Henry (1773-1847). It was these two brothersGerald and Henry Wellesleywith whom Arthur is thought to have been most friendly. He also had another brother, Arthur Gerald, who died young around a year before his birth.Arthur also had three sisters: Anne (1768-1844), Francis (1768-1770), and Mary Elizabeth (1772-1794).William Wellesley, by Thomas Lawrence, 19th century. Source: BonhamsAnne Wellesley, who was just one year older than her brother Arthur, eventually married Henry Fitzroy, the younger son of the first Baron Southampton. Both his other sisters died young: Mary Elizabeth at 22 and Francis at just 3.Despite being part of a large family, Arthur Wellesley spent much of his childhood alone. He attended schools for boys, but was largely disliked by his fellow pupils, and therefore became lonely and withdrawn both at school and at home. A psychologist may claim that his childhood experience with other young men made him more inclined to female company in his adulthood.Garret Wellesley, 1st Earl of Mornington, 18th century. Source: Trinity College DublinLord Mornington, Arthur Wellesleys father, died in May 1781. His absence left Anne Wellesley and Richard Wellesley (who was by this point just 21), to care for the rest of the family.The twelve-year-old Arthur Wellesley is likely to have relied on siblingsparticularly his sistersfor friendship and support during this time. He had lost his father, and not only was his mother disinterested in children in general, but she also appeared to hate him in particular. Anne Wellesley described Arthur as food for powder and nothing more. As Arthur grew up, she became embarrassed about his lack of academic interest, and claimed that she did not know what to do with her awkward son Arthur.Thankfully, his mothers attitude did not appear to negatively impact Arthur Wellesleys overall impression of the opposite sex. His interest in women, and his love of female companionship in general, had both begun at an early age and would last until his death many decades and many relationships later.His phase of loneliness does not appear to have lasted too long. In his youth and young adulthood, Arthur Wellesley and his family were often invited to social events such as picnics. According to many well-known anecdotes, young girls of his age would regularly question the host as to whether that mischievous boy Arthur would be present at each party.Arthur quickly gained a reputationin a good wayfor being a ladies man. One such young woman named Mrs St. George noted publicly that Arthur was extremely good humoured and the object of much attention from the female part of a very gay society.Kitty Pakenham: Courtship, Marriage, and Final PartingApsley House, the Duke of Wellingtons London Residence. Source: Wikimedia CommonsIt was in the year 1792 that the future Duke met his future wife. When Arthur Wellesley first laid eyes on Catherine Pakenham, he was a debt-ridden, 23-year-old captain. She was the 19-year-old daughter of an Irish peer, the Earl of Longford.Initially, the pair seemed fairly well-matched. He was dashing; she was said to have been more than averagely pretty. He already excelled socially and was well-liked within his circles; she was kind, popular, and had a sweet disposition. He harbored a great love for music and literature; she shared in his interests wholeheartedly. He was exceedingly clever, and although she did not match him in this area, that was of no concern. Intelligence was not typically thought of as an essential quality in an 18th-century wife.It would be fair to assume that Arthur Wellesley experienced an infatuation. He may even have been in love with Kitty. He twice asked her father for her hand and was twice refused. Thinking Wellesley was not yet good enough for his daughter, the Earl of Longford suggested that he attempt to make something of himself before proposing again.Pakenham Hall, family residence. Source: Wikimedia CommonsIn the year 1796, the two were separated for a painfully long time when Wellesley and his regiment were sent to India. When he returned in 1806, although they had corresponded, they had not seen each other in the flesh in nearly eleven years. Catherine Pakenham still adored Wellesley, had remained dedicated to their relationship, and had even refused other suitors in the hope that he would return to her. On his way back to Dublin, Wellington felt bound by his initial promises. Having finally made something of himself and his career, as Kittys father had instructed, he sent another letter of proposal.Kitty was overjoyed but did not accept his offer straight away. Instead, she explained by way of a letter that she looked somewhat different from how she had appeared a decade previously. She warned him that in so many years I may be much more changed than I myself am conscious of. She assured him that she would still love to be his wife, but only if he still desired her after spending time with her on his return.Kitty was right she had changed a lot. Upon first sight of her, Wellington notably and rather amusingly exclaimed to his brother Gerald, She has grown ugly, by Jove! But he was a man of his word, and despite his misgivings, he went through with the marriage as planned.Harriet Arbuthnot, by John Hoppner, 1805. Source: Wikimedia CommonsAlthough the union produced practically nothing in the way of happiness, it did produce two children. Wellesley and Kitty got on well enough to create offspring. They had two sons: Arthur Wellesley second Duke of Wellington (1807-1884), and Lord Charles Wellesley (1808-1858).The couple attempted to make the best of a bad marriage and were happiestby all accountswhen they lived apart. Rumor had it that when they were about to change residencemoving from town to countrythey would send each other messages regarding their whereabouts so that they might avoid each other. When it did happen that they were in the same house, they certainly did not share a room.Harriet Arbuthnot, one of Wellesleys closest friends, bore his complaints about his marital woes. In response, Harriet publicly called Kitty the most abominably silly and stupid woman that was ever born. In return for this comment, Wellesley confided in Harriet that Kitty made his house so dull that nobody would go into it.The Duke of Wellington was widowed on April 14, 1831, after 25 years of marital misery.Wellington and His Many MistressesGiuseppina Grassini, by Elizabeth Louise Vigee Le Brun, 19th century. Source: Wikimedia CommonsThe Duke of Wellingtons habit of taking mistresses began early on in his military career. There is solid evidence that, by the year 1796, he was already participating in brief but passionate affairs. While working in India with his regiment, for example, he is known to have enjoyed a long string of flirtations and liaisons.Of Wellesleys interest, a fellow officer noted that Colonel Wellesley had at that time a very susceptible heart, particularly towards, I am sorry to say, married ladies. He also described how he and Wellesley would help each other in their antics. Wellesley once kindly assisted me in a little affair of gallantry I had, the unnamed officer confessed, but this was in a spirit of gratitude, I having assisted him on a like occasion.This was a pattern that continued throughout his life. Below are just a few of the women he became associated with at varying points. The professional Courtesan Harriette Wilson it was in response to her threats to publish her memoirs that Wellington said Publish and be damned!; the Italian opera singer Giuseppina Grassini it was she who he paraded publicly in place of his wife; Marguerite Georges it was she who claimed that Wellington was a stronger lover than her former partner, Napoleon Bonaparte; Lady Frances Wedderburn-Webster it was her husband who brought a libel action against a notable newspaper for presenting the affair as fact.Others worth mentioning include Lady Frances Shelley, Lady Caroline Lamb, Lady Charlotte Greville, Marianne Patterson, Dorothea Lieven, Frances Gascoyne-Cecil (Lady Salisbury), and Lady Georgiana Fane. It is worth noting that although these have all been romantically linked, very few of these potential affairs have been proven true.Wellington the Womanizer: Dispelling the MythsAngela Burdett-Coutts, 1840. Source: National Portrait Gallery, LondonThere is no denying that the Duke of Wellington enjoyed the companionship of multiple women. Neither is there any doubt that he had a great deal of experience when it came to mistresses and courtesans. We have already explored a significant number of his romantic relationships. However, there is also much evidence to suggest that he actually cared for each of his lovers individually.Like most men, Wellington adored attractive women. However, to remain interested, he had to see something more. A pretty face may have been enough to attract Wellingtons attention, but it certainly was not enough to keep it. Wellington wanted intelligent companythat which he lacked from his wifeand he valued the company of women he could communicate with in a meaningful way.Wellington was not so obsessed with the ideas of romance and sex that he sought out new conquests at any opportunity. Unlike many of his contemporaries, he was not willing to climb into bed with any girl who took his fancy. In fact, he notably once declined some offers of intimacy from a lady he was not truly taken with.In the year 1839, for example, Wellington happened to meet the 25-year-old Angela Burdett-Coutts. She was one of the most attractiveand certainly one of the wealthiestwomen in England. She absolutely adored Wellington and with boldness almost unheard of in her era, even proposed to him. Obviously touched by the sentiment, Wellington kindly turned her down, saying I entreat you not to throw yourself away upon a man old enough to be your grandfather.The Duke of Wellington, as portrayed by Peter Bowles in Victoria. Source: Twimg.comTo conclude, we may ask ourselves the question: is it fair that Wellington has been marked as an early-19th-century womaniser? Even in the 21st century, many historiansboth amateurs and academicsbelieve the description to have been accurate. While there would be no point in arguing that he did not accumulate a wide range of extramarital relationships, one may argue that he entered these relationships with good intentions. It was said of Wellington that he was always in love with someone.Wellington himself explained his affairs by stating that Kittys lack of warmth toward him drove him to seek abroad that comfort and happiness that was denied at home.Wellington was not totally heartless when it came to his unwanted wife. An example of his feelings toward heras a friend rather than as a lovercan be found at the end of her life. During Kittys final moments, Wellington sat at her bedside. Before taking her last breath, she had chosen to run her fingers up his sleeve, feeling for an armlet she had given him when they were in love. She found it, Wellington said, just as she would have found it any time these twenty years, had she cared to look for it.Contrary to popular opinion, some historians may argue that the Duke of Wellington genuinely cared for each of the women he courted. We may also point out that due to the loving and considerate nature of Wellingtonin the way of his personality, attitude, and temperamentit would be unfair for him to go down in history as something so uncaring and roguish as a womanizer.Wellington may have had the experience of a womanizer, but he certainly did not have the intentions of one.The Duke of Wellington: His Death and LegacyThe Battle of Waterloo, by William Sadler, 1815. Source: Wikimedia CommonsThe Duke of Wellington died of natural causes, (probably suffering the aftereffects of a stroke), on September 14, 1852. He had reached the grand age of 83.Wellington was one of only a small number of British subjects (others including Horatio Nelson and Winston Churchill), to be granted the honor of a state funeral. This ceremony took place at St Pauls Cathedral in London, where he was also buried.Even in the 21st century, the British public has daily reminders of Wellingtons life and work. Statues and monuments can be found all over England, Wales, and Ireland. Just a few of the most famous include the Wellington Monument on Park Lane in London and the Wellington Arch on Hyde Park Corner, also in London. A portrait of Wellington even adorned the British five-pound note between 1971 and 1991.Whether for his quick wit, his memorable quotes, his military victories, his political prowessor his womanizing tendenciesthe Duke of Wellington will likely be respected and revered for many centuries to come.