5 Animals That Have Absolutely No Business Jumping (In Our Definitely Unbiased Opinion)

Not that we like to tell anything to stay in its lane, but there are some animals out there showing behavior that, well… just doesn’t sit right with us. That’s particularly the case when it comes to jumping. Kangaroos, hares, toddlers who were accidentally given caffeinated cola at a birthday party – all of those things leaping about make sense. But there are also several critters out there that, frankly, have absolutely no business jumping, and it’s definitely not because we don’t want them jumping on us… maybe.

Leeches

Last year, researchers finally settled a debate that’s raged on for over a century – whether or not leeches can jump. Despite stories from Victorian-era naturalists that these little wrigglers were quite the gymnasts, others put such tales down to a simple case of the worms falling out of trees.

In a development that’s sure to wriggle its way into your nightmares, what the team found was yes, leeches can indeed jump, and they’ve even got the footage to prove it.

This unnerving discovery was made in Madagascar, where leeches from the Chtonobdella genus were caught “intentionally jumping off a leaf and onto the ground”, wrote the researchers in a paper describing their findings. The team also believes that this behavior might only be limited to a small subset of leeches, but that still doesn’t mean we’re happy about it.

Pumpkin toadlets

Okay, for this one we're taking things a bit more literally. While the adorable little Flamin’ Hot Cheetos that are the pumpkin toadlets absolutely do have business jumping (given that they’re frogs), unfortunately for them, they’re absolutely terrible at it. The reason why these frogs can leap into the air but can’t stick the landing, scientists discovered in 2022, comes down to their miniature bodies.

Pumpkin toadlets have the smallest recorded semicircular ear canals of any known adult vertebrate, and this affects their balance and special orientation. As a result, they can’t control their body position in the air, leading to many a crash landing.

Tree snakes

The idea that a snake can jump is honestly just greedy more than anything else. You’re telling me you can already silently slither about, kill off prey with either deadly venom or throat-crushing constriction, and now you can surprise jump on them too? Rude.

But it turns out they can’t always have it all. Snakes in the genus Dendrelaphis have been found to jump, lowering themselves down before launching upwards into the air, but they’re also non-venomous. You win some, you lose some.

Cassowaries

Cassowaries – popularly known as “murder birds”, despite not actually having killed all that many people – shouldn’t really be able to jump. They’re the second-heaviest birds in the world, and getting all that weight off the ground doesn’t exactly sound like it would be easy.

Luckily for them, they’re also pretty leggy, and these strong limbs allow them to leap more than 1.5 meters (5 feet) into the air. They can use this ability to carry out a sort of jumping kick attack combo (cassowary = Pokémon?) or to get fruit from overhead. Let’s hope for our sake that they mostly use it for the latter. Those claws aren't to be messed with.

Honorable mention: Mexican jumping beans

“beANS aren’T ANIMALS!!” First of all, tell that to every pet out there named Beans. Second: yes, we know, but hold your rage comments for a moment – there’s more to Mexican jumping beans than meets the eye.

They aren’t actually beans at all, but instead they’re seed pods. Still, they shouldn’t be able to leap about either way, but they aren’t just flinging themselves around as if by magic. The reason they can “jump” is hidden inside – the tiny larvae of the moth species Cydia saltitans. These larvae wriggle about, causing the seed pod to move.