If Balatro and Cookie Clicker had a baby, it'd be this new poker-themed indie game, and I'm already afraid for my time

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If Balatro and Cookie Clicker had a baby, it'd be this new poker-themed indie game, and I'm already afraid for my time

I haven't played Balatro in months, and it's not because I'm tired of it; quite the reverse. After pouring hundreds of hours into LocalThunk's creation, I finally managed to pull myself out of the chip-counting stupor. Now I'm a little afraid that even a taste of its 'mult' meter dinging up will drag me back into its synth-scored swirls. Unfortunately, I've instead installed the demo for a new indie game called This Ain't Even Poker, Ya Joker, and I can already feel the minutes slipping through my fingers like grains of sand.

Combining the rules of the beloved card game with the idle game trappings of Cookie Clicker, Adventure Capitalist, or Trimps, This Ain't Even Poker, Ya Joker comes from developer Mash. It strips out the traditional strategy of poker in favor of raw number scaling. You start out by flipping over one card, and you win cash based on what it shows. That money buys you a second card - now you can make pairs, and they're a lot more valuable. I think you can see where this is going.

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With a full row of five, you start scoring even more valuable hands. Spend a little extra, and buy a second deck, or a third, or a fourth. Naturally, you'll want someone to flip all of these for you, although you'll get a bonus for any you keep doing yourself. As the funds begin to really flow, you can extend your hands beyond the five-card limit; normal laws don't apply to the truly wealthy, after all.

That's still not enough, however. Eventually, you're able to send minions on expeditions, and they'll bring back "otherworldly cards" that bestow additional benefits. Some might stretch across multiple suits, or count as several numbers. Others will ramp up your score when certain conditions are met.

This Ain't Even Poker, Ya Joker - Ten decks generate money at once.

There's even one of my favorite clicker staples, an ascension mode. Make a deal with the sinister Jester, and you can wipe away your progress completely in exchange for powerful Poker Chips. These can be used to buy yet more potent upgrades that accelerate your next run and allow you to reach even higher heights. The numbers get bigger and bigger, and suddenly it's 1am and you don't know how you got here. And this is just the demo… oh no.

A demo for This Ain't Even Poker, Ya Joker is available now on Steam. The full game is planned to launch by the end of 2025. Head here to download it for free and see what you think. Just make sure to keep an eye on the clock.

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