The Fear of Becoming First-Time Parents - Crosswalk Couples Devotional - September 22

The Fear of Becoming First Time Parents 

By: Vivian Bricker

“For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.” (Isaiah 41:13)

Becoming parents for the first time can be frightening. After all, it is something that we have never done before. Parents who have already had a child or two before don’t have the same fear that new parents have. Rest in the peace that this fear will pass. God will help you and give you the strength that you need. You also have the support of your own family and friends to help when times are difficult.

Sadly, many wives and husbands are so afraid of becoming parents that they never take the step to have children. Fear can take much joy from your life. Don’t allow this fear to control your decision to have children or not. It is one thing to choose not to have children because of personal choice, but it is another to avoid having children out of fear.

If fear is preventing you and your spouse from having children, consider where the fear is rooted. Is it rooted in the fear of becoming parents, going through pregnancy, or the new responsibilities that come with parenthood? The cause of your fear will determine the best course of action. Regardless of the source of your fear, you can bring it to God.

Go to God as a couple and ask for His help, guidance, and wisdom. Ask Him directly for what you need. Don’t feel ashamed or selfish for directly asking God for what you need. God wants to help us and will give us everything we need in order to live godly lives. He loves us and will not withhold any good gift (James 1:17).

Talking with other parents or your own parents can help extinguish any fears about parenthood. Avoid talking to anyone who tends to blow things out of proportion. These individuals will only make you feel more afraid. Choose to talk with parents who have level heads and have proven helpful in the past.

While it is good to be aware of any difficult situation that might arise, we don’t need to drown out all of our hopes with fears. Yes, bad things can happen, but these things are not highly likely. As someone who struggles with OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder), I can attest to the fact that I tend to catastrophize things. Worst-case scenarios come into my mind, and I cannot shake them.

This way of thinking only makes things worse. Avoid people who think like this and try to work on any of your own thoughts of catastrophe. God will help you; you can trust that your worst fears will most likely not come true. And if they do, He will see you through. There will be problems in life, but there will still be problems even if you choose not to have children. Don’t allow fear to take away something you and your spouse have always wanted.

God tells us directly, “For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you” (Isaiah 41:13). As God says here, we don’t need to fear because He will help us. He will take hold of our right hand and give us peace. Bring all of your fears to Him and trust Him. Trusting God will soon extinguish any and all fears that you have.

You can hand any worries about pregnancy over to God and trust Him to get you through the journey and the delivery. Give any fears of becoming first-time parents or about the responsibilities accompanying parenthood over to God. Choose to trust Him even if you are scared. By trusting Him, you might be surprised at the beautiful blessing He will bring into your life.

Think about the smile of your newborn, the fun of family outings, and the joy of raising your child with your spouse. Reflect upon all the love you will have for this child and their love for you. Love has the ability to destroy fear and help us to be brave. Rely on God, trust Him, and reflect on love.

Prayer:

“Dear God, my spouse and I have been afraid to have a child for many reasons. Despite our fears, we really want to have a child. Please take away these fears and give us peace of mind. I don’t want fear to ruin the opportunity to have a beautiful child. I trust in You and not in my fear. Amen.”

Photo credit: ©GettyImages/AleksandarNakic

Vivian Bricker obtained a Bachelor of Arts in Ministry, followed by a Master of Arts with an emphasis in theology. She loves all things theology, mission work, and helping others learn about Jesus. Find more of her content at Cultivate: https://cultivatechristianity.wordpress.com/. 

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