SHARON! The Absolute Best Ozzy Quotes From Every Season of 'The Osbournes'

It's difficult to remember a time when TV wasn't flooded with celebrity-based reality TV shows, but that's exactly where we were when The Osbournes premiered on MTV on March 5, 2002.

For 52 episodes across four seasons, Ozzy, Sharon, Kelly and Jack (and a whole bunch of dogs) gave the world a glimpse of their lives at home and on the road. There were feuds with their neighbors, as well as the issue of burritos and Sharon's cancer diagnosis.

Ozzy died on July 22 at the age of 76.

READ MORE: 10 Simple Ways To Honor Ozzy Osbourne In Your Daily Life

No matter the moment, it was often Ozzy who delivered the lines that viewers will remember the most. Here is a look back at some of the most memorable things Ozzy said onscreen during The Osbournes.

On Animals

• "It's like Doctor fucking Dolittle's house here.” Episode 2, Season 1, “Bark at the Moon”
• "I'm home. I've returned. I'm home and there's a dog turd." Episode 8, Season 2, “Cleanliness is Next to Ozzyness”
• "We got no army to fight the fucking bugs!" Episode 12, Season 2 “Fleas a Crowd”
• "I don't want anything to do with bats. I am sick to death of these fucking bats! It's all my fucking career is about, a fucking bat." Episode 7, Season 1 “Get Stuffed”
• "I think I should get a dog suit, they're treated better than me." Episode 9, Season 2, “Ozzy Knows Best”
• "Fish like cheese...Sometimes. Some fish like cheese." Episode 3, Season 2, “The Ozz Man and the Sea”

On Being Ozzy

• "Bubbles?! Oh, c'mon, Sharon! I'm fucking Ozzy Osbourne, the Prince of fucking Darkness! Evil! Evil! What fucking evil have a load of fucking bubbles around?" Episode 5, Season 1 “Tour of Duty"

• “When I was Jack's age, I was drinking booze, taking drugs, taking speed...and I bit several creatures' heads off. But when your kids are younger, you go, 'Man, what was wrong with me? Man.'" Episode 10, Season 1, “Dinner With Ozzy”
• "To be Ozzy Osbourne, it could be worse...I could be Sting." Episode 10, Season 1, “Dinner With Ozzy”
• "I got a fucking 21-year-old’s chest, look at that, no hairs!" Episode 10, Season 2, “My Big Fat Jewish Wedding”
• "It's not abnormal to me the way we live, because it's the way I am." Episode 10, Season 1, “Dinner With Ozzy”
• "Because I was always drunk, under the influence of drugs, or my ego was bigger than theirs. But through it all, I would always tell my children that I loved them, because my folks never, ever would say, ‘I love you.’"  Episode 10, Season 4, “A Farewell to Ozz”

On Technology

• "Where's the fucking History Channel, man?!" Episode 8, Season 4, “Lozt in Translation”

• "You have to be a fucking rocket scientist to turn the fucking DVD on." Episode 8, Season 1, “No Vagrancy”
• "This car fucking argues with me now, man!" Episode 13, Season 2, “Run Ozzy Run”

On Ozzy At Home

• "I try and be a nice neighbor, but it gets personal. If they wanna fuck with me, then they're fucking with the wrong person because I'll start throwing dead animals over the fucking thing. I don't give a fuck. I'll throw pig guts and things over there. Alright, starting tonight, the war is on.” Episode 4, Season 1, “Won’t You Be My Neighbor”

• "How the fuck do you feed a tree? Where do you put a ham sandwich by the tree?" Episode 3, Season 1, “For the Record”
• "Someone's been in my room and taken my beers away from my room!" Episode 13, Season 2, “Run Ozzy Run”
• "Oi! Get away from my fucking burrito, you little bastard!" Episode 5, Season 2, “Smells Like Teen Spirits”
• "Fucking hate Christmas, fucking hate it man!" Season 1, Episode 9, “A Very Ozzy Christmas”
• "This is the deal, if you want to come to our house, then you gotta have flu shots! Line up, butts out!" Episode 8, Season 2, “Cleanliness is Next to Ozzyness”
• "Now who would put a fucking balloon in the trash can?! A fucking balloon!" Episode 14, Season 2, “Fists of Fury”

On Sharon

• "My wife, Sharon, is the leader. We all depend on her for everything, you know, even me. I'm like the monkey on the piano. I do the jumping, she plays the tunes." Episode 10, Season 1, “Dinner With Ozzy”
• "She's the best lover I've ever had, the best friend I've ever had, the worst friend I've ever had. It's like bread and butter, Sharon and Ozzy." Episode 2, Season 2, “... Must Come Down”
• "Here, Sharon, wear this fucking chandelier!" Episode 4, Season 3, “Return of the Ring”

On Music

• "When we get the studio, I strongly recommend earplugs because Zakk plays louder than fucking Satan!" Episode 5, Season 1 “Tour of Duty”
• "Drummers are weird people. Anyone that wants to sit behind a drum kit and beat fucking skins is a loony. It's a weird kind of person. It takes a special kind of person." Episode 6, Season 2, “Meow Means No!”

On Life

• "If you want any advice from me on tattoos. To be someone unique, don't have a tattoo cause everyone and their friend has a tattoo." Episode 3, Season 1, “For the Record”

• "If you had one leg and you're in a room full of one-legged men, you wouldn't want to talk about how you lost your leg for the rest of your life. You just get on with it." Episode 2, Season 2, “... Must Come Down”
• "What I've learnt is every day something different happens. Some things you like and some things you don't like. It's just another hiccup in the journey back to reality." Episode 14, Season 2, “Fists of Fury”
• "The thing about life is that by the time you're older and you begin to understand, you die!" Episode 10, Season 1 “Dinner With Ozzy”