Amazon's AI-generated Alexa+ podcasts are utter podslop

It's a podcast, but make it hosted by two AI-generated hosts talking to each other about the game last night.

Reader, I hate it.

Announced on Tuesday, Alexa Podcasts is Amazon's latest venture for Alexa+, the company's rebooted AI-powered virtual assistant. Described by the company as "AI-generated audio episodes on any topic," these on-demand offerings essentially replace an entire team of human podcast producers and presenters with artificial intelligence — "no documents or prep work needed."

It's essentially a Big Tech-backed pile of "podslop" or AI-generated podcasts, which are on the rise along with other AI audio formats. A recent analysis by The Podcast Index found that 39 percent of recently uploaded podcasts were probably created using AI, with companies like Inception Point AI churning out the episodes.

Now, Amazon's joining the surge with Alexa Podcasts. Users (anyone with a Prime membership) can ask the AI assistant to cover any topic from news roundups to sports results to the consensus of movie reviews, "and let you adjust the length and direction conversationally." That means you can pick both the AI assistant's personality — these are dubbed "Alexa, Brief, Sweet, Chill, and Sassy" — and its "conversation style" — "from concise and efficient to warm and conversational."

Then, Alexa will generate a short episode with two AI hosts, which will be sent to your Echo device and the Alexa app.

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Without a human research team, where is all this precious information coming from? According to Amazon, over 200 news publications have signed up as sources, including local U.S. newspapers as well as "Associated Press, Reuters, The Washington Post, TIME, Forbes, Business Insider, Politico, USA Today, and and publications from Condé Nast, Hearst, and Vox." Cool cool cool.

Everything about this makes me want to throw my tech in the sea, especially when you listen to...the examples Amazon has provided on Soundcloud (on Soundcloud!). Why listen to painstakingly researched history podcasts like Greg Jenner's You're Dead to Me and Marc Fennell's Stuff The British Stole when you can have two AI voices regurgitating generic Ancient Roman facts at you? Who needs groundbreaking investigative journalism at a time of casual convenience like this? Why be educated by music historians like Cole Cuchna on Dissect when you can have AI tell you what's good? Why listen to actual athletes and sports commentators present their analysis of the game when you can hear it generated?

I listen to podcasts for the hosts, whose personalities and production teams cannot be replicated by Alexa's "Sassy conversational" or "Brief efficient" settings — Ira Glass, Trixie and Katya; Hrishikesh Hirway; Kid Fury and Crissle West; Monét X Change and Bob The Drag Queen; Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang; Kara Swisher; Taylor Lorenz; Gabrielle de la Puente and Zarina Muhammad; Keke Palmer; Amy Poehler; Jon Lovett; Linda Holmes, Aisha Harris, Stephen Thompson, and Glen Weldon; Richard Osman and Marina Hyde; Louis Virtel, and so many more, not to mention the enormous amount of human news teams providing daily news podcasts from the BBC to CNN, and my colleagues at Mashable pouring their creativity and energy into the craft.

It's enough platforms like Spotify and Libby are feeling the creep of AI-generated music and audiobooks, now podcasters are two AI chatbots talking to each other? I don't want to, as Amazon suggests, "turn your dinner table conversations into learning opportunities." What, are we gathering 'round the Alexa for an AI-generated podcast on the Apollo 11 mission? I'm out of here.