Final Fantasy 14 band The Primals will play at a huge rock festival, and I can't wait for a confused crowd to miss Temporal Stasis
Final Fantasy 14 band The Primals will play at a huge rock festival, and I can't wait for a confused crowd to miss Temporal Stasis
The Primals - the Final Fantasy 14 house band-turned soft cultural phenomenon - has announced plans to appear on-stage at the 23rd running of the UK's huge Download festival this June. So, if you've ever wanted to see a band whose lead consistently posts blurry photos of himself mid-meal climb up on the global stage, you can consider that particularly wacky and oddly specific wish fulfilled.
Yes, that's right: Final Fantasy 14's workaholic sound director Masayoshi Soken, the game's key localization guy Michael Christopher Koji Fox, and a couple of close collaborators are set to bring their signature chaotic energy to Leicestershire's Donington Park in the UK this summer. It's one of the biggest and best MMORPGs around, and the sheer length of its ever-growing OST earned it a space in the Guinness Book of World Records a very long time ago. You have Soken to thank for that, and the music that made it will soon be played on the stage of one of the world's premier rock festivals.

Ignoring their very on-brand repeat shows at the Final Fantasy 14 Fan Fest events held around the world every couple of years, where their appearances make total sense given the context, the set will mark the first time the eclectic and enigmatic metal band has taken to the stage outside of Asia. Previously, the troupe has had sell-out shows across the continent, including Yokohama Arena and the legendary Budokan, so it makes a lot of sense for them to try something further afield. See, now this is why we're not getting a proper FF14 rhythm game any time soon.
I'll admit I don't know a whole lot about Download. I'm not a huge music guy. And with Chappell Roan recently bigging up Runescape music earlier this month, I feel vindicated in my decision to respectfully listen to its synthetic beeps and boops as opposed to just about anything else as I slash another three dozen Chaos Druids for a handful of herbs. Frankly, the only right time to turn the music off in Final Fantasy 14 is when you're running Copperbell Mines (Hard) for the eleventh time in the same week, though I doubt that happens much nowadays.
Still, what Google has told me is that, no, The Primals won't be butting in between songs from the world's biggest artists with Moogle caps upon their heads. After all, could you imagine the masses jamming to A Long Fall between sets from Linkin Park and Guns N' Roses? Hey, it's almost enough for me to spend hundreds of dollars to camp in a ditch. Almost. Instead, Soken, Fox, and the rest will make their Download debut where some of today's global acts once likely made their mark: on a Friday under the tent of the Dogtooth stage.
There's no word on which songs they'll bring to the show just yet, but given they're bringing their "trademark energy, musical variety, and a show quite unlike anything before seen at the festival," I think it's safe to say we'll be seeing some very confused souls being frozen in time by Alexander Prime's Temporal Stasis during Stasis Loop come this summer. And rightly so. It's an oddly memorable moment, I'll say that much.